Let The Random Chat Commence!

Bet you thought you would never hear from me again….I am sorry for leaving you.

I am sorry I am back to fill your lives with more random writings!

Love! Love will keep us together…think of me babe whenever….

Actually it will keep us together because I have ran out of room to store all this crazy in my brain and need a place to document it all.  Steven Spielberg has got nothing on the crap that rolls around in this noodle!

My latest obsession is nail polish….50 Shades of Nail Polish…..I think I would be more interested in that movie then the one the claims to be about s & m but then from what I hear…was pretty bad….like I would rather watch paint dry over seeing that…..that was mean…I mean…..nope, I got nothing good to say on that so as my mom says…don’t say anything at all….I suppose I should have erased this whole paragraph then…sorry mom….can’t do it!

Oh wait! Switch!!!! Friends on Netflix….DAMN YOU NETFLIX!!!

I am thankful I have started season 10….I can’t stop….it is seriously out of control….It’s not like I don’t know what happens…I spent TEN years of my life watching Friends and here I am again (Only in fast forward and spanning over a couple of months….no commercials ROCKS)….I think Friends must have been a cult….It clearly leaves you wanting more….wanting to know how many more wedding will Ross have? Who will hook up with who next? How does Monica keep that apartment so clean? Will Joey……what will Joey do?  Ahh…..they just don’t make TV like this anymore….I started watching Different Strokes for a while….then came The Facts of Life….so happy I found Friends…good old clean comedy is a tough on to find now!

NETFLIX is evil. Evil I tell you! Make it STOP….(I am totally kidding….if Cheers were on there….I would lose another year of my life!)

Ciao for now!

 

Dog Care Obsession

I just realized how OBSESSED I am with my dog!

So Fernando Nino’s daughter is coming to watch Watson for 5 days while we are away….this is her first time watching him….(yes! I am fully aware he is a D-O-G!)  I have been worried about all the little details and thinking “does she have enough time to spend with him?”, “Will he be okay?”, etc, etc, etc.

Today I made her a one page Word document about how to take care of him….yes…this got a little out of hand but let me share the points with you……I think you will enjoy….AND find them very valid! (Please agree….please please agree…)

What You Need To Know for Watson (my dog under an A.K.A to protect his identity):

1. Feed him 1 cup of dry food 3 times a day (fresh water too in the morning)
2. Food is in garage in grey bin
3. No food except for his dry food and his homemade treats in cupboard/fridge…we all know what happens otherwise.  BIG vet bills!
4. I take him around the block at least once a day, otherwise just out back door works. (if weather is yucky, he doesn’t want to go anyway so you may need to make him at least go out backdoor)
5. He usually goes out minimum 3-5 times a day (only really 1-2 times of a longer walk like around the block or more)
6. He has not had that crazy allergy reaction since last summer when he ended up all bumpy and itchy…but if it happened…benedryl is in the cupboard by the fridge. One pill every 8 hours in a spoon of peanut butter.
7. Doesn’t have to be in kennel when you go, likes car rides and walks on the beach….
8. Sleeps in kennel, on couch, or in your bed at night! Lol….If on your bed, I recommend putting down a bed sheet/towel or blanket for him to specifically lay on so to reduce hairs on your bed.
9. As you know, he is easy-going and cuddly and loves having people around him a lot. He will steal your stuff so if something is missing….check his kennel…it’s his way of telling you he loves you…
10. Now you are probably reading this and laughing at me…. I am laughing at me too at this point….I am so totally obsessed with him! HAHAHAH
11. You are probably super thankful that your father and I never had babies…lol…if this is just for the dog…DEAR LORD!

EMERGENCY CONTACTS NUMBERS:

She has 4 people to contact in the event of an emergency….the vet…two of his dogwalkers and my friend Cheryl…Cheryl is just fun to chat with so thought she might want to call!

I hope they will be okay……  😉 I hope I will be okay…….HAHAHA

He protects me….when I pass out from worrying….and wine….

Mother’s Day Struggle

This is a very vulnerable topic for me….I hope if someone’s reads this and can identify with it, that it makes them know they are not alone either.

For many years I have known that I am not physically able to have children.  For the most part I have come to terms with it…..and then Mother’s Day comes along and for some reason, this day gets me every time.

I feel a deep sense of being alone.

I know I am surrounded by amazing people who love me and the overwhelming sense of being alone still lives with me on this day.  The face that resembles mine that I will never meet, the lessons to teach them that I will never do, the cheering them on in sports, music or taking on something new that I will never get to see…..eats me up for about 24 hours and then the world is back to the way it was and I am totally okay with it all again.

See, I think as a woman, whether you can’t have children or choose not to, I still believe there is a small piece of every woman who wants to meet that mini version of them self….the one you share your DNA with, the one you gift to the world.

At this point in my life the answer is, that “mini me” I will never meet.  My opportunity in this life is to inspire as many of YOUR “mini YOU’s” as I can.  I love children.  They make me laugh, make me cry tears of joy, I learn from them and they provide me with the ability to see life through innocent  eyes.  Being I have not had a child of my own physically, I can’t imagine what that connection feels like. The closest that I can think of to it is with my dog.  I mean, he has become my baby.  If anyone were to try to hurt him, I would most certainly step in the way….the love I have for him fills me.  AND frankly….the pros are:

1. He doesn’t talk back
2. I can put him in his kennel and go out
3. He never complains about having the same thing for dinner everyday
4. Loves me even when he is in trouble and I send him to the corner

These are BIG pro’s my friends tell me! Lol!

I am very lucky in my life and that I am completely aware of, and like any human being, I have things that surprise me like how sad I become once a year all because of a Sunday in May.  It is good to acknowledge the things that come up for you.  It’s just not healthy to live in them like a prison.  So for today, I have my 24 hours of contemplation and wonderment of what the world would have been like with one more Crazy Canadian Girl/Boy Mini Me in the world..it makes me smile….and be a little sad for the moment.  At the end of all these thoughts though, I really get that they are just thoughts….and I can have the whole experience of not being able to have children be a gift as well so that I can give my energy to ALL children and their families!

In reflection of it all, today I truly celebrated my mom and my friends that are moms and wish for you all to not take one second for granted that you gave the gift of life to this planet.  Children are absolute miracles and you as a Mother, are amazing!

 

This is MY mom….I am her “Mini Me” heheheh…

Can You Walk A Tight Rope?

Well hello strangers! I did seem to “go off the grid” for a while….I began thinking my life was normal….who am I kidding? Nothing in my life is really ever “normal” and that is the way I prefer it to stay! Keeps me on my toes….

Speaking of toes….

Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if you became a tight rope walker? No? Umm..yeah…me neither….

I mean but seriously….if you could do it….do you think those people have really nimble toes? Like they could pick up a pen and write with their feet? I think they could….I mean…their toes must be pretty strong, much like the rest of their foot….to hold them up on a WIRE long enough to cross crazy things like Niagara Falls!  Don’t even get me started on their balance….I try to stand with my leg kicked out to the side and sometimes I fall over….I am clear it wouldn’t go well for me..I am positive if I tried it, I would be hanging by the rope with my hands because I wouldn’t be able to touch my nose fast enough to gain my balance back….what about you?  (Touching your nose WORKS when you are trying to gain your balance…try it….stand up right now…kick and hold one leg out to the side…wait till you start to wobble….then with your index finger…touch your nose…worked didn’t it?! Now you think I am a genius…you are probably right….just no other evidence yet to support this)

These are VERY IMPORTANT topics to know about your friends….I mean…if you know what your friends are capable of…ie…tight rope walking…they could save your life one day when you are hanging off the side of a cliff and the only way to reach you is by a CABLE that just happens to be going from one rock to another over a HUGE crevice in the earth!

Okay….I don’t really know how you or I ended up hanging off the side of that “cliff” or what “this seems like a good idea, let’s try it!” moment we were having….but it could happen….you just never know….You must be prepared to have a tightrope walker in your life!

When you discover which one of your friends can do this….make them prove it…maybe start on a low rope though…in case they are just trying to show off….you don’t want to lose a friend…off the waterfalls or anything crazy like that….just because you wanted them to “prove” to you they are THAT friend….be realistic here….when looking for a new friend (if your old ones DO NOT have this talent) be sure to slip this question in somewhere….and then let me know when you find them….I am still looking for my tightrope walker buddy from another mother moment……thanks!

I think I am being stalked….not by a tightrope walker either…..

Random Thoughts Cause Trouble Between The Ears!

This Crazy Canadian has been all sorts of busy lately….with an impending wedding due to silly putty proposals…finding my old sticker book and pictures(this will keep me busy procrastinating for HOURS)….to doing laundry and cooking while running a business and walking the dog….life has been looking pretty full these days…..

So why do I make myself wrong for “not doing enough?”….oh yeah….cuz I am human which makes me “crazy”! lol….I do laugh but there is some truth to that….

I mean, I could be having the most awesome day and my brain will literally turn to “OMG…..what am I not doing that I should be doing right now?”  I can make the most awesome presentation ever….literally ROCK the platform and then my mind goes “but you said that one dumb thing….you actually ruined it all…” (am I the only one who has nutty thoughts like this? I better not be! You best be admitting your own ‘crazy’ right now….)

The saying “live every day like it was your last”….I love this saying, however, my brain listens to it like “hurry up!! You are not going to be here tomorrow so you gotta get everything done today!”…..

Trying to plan a wedding that will re-arrange people’s molecules about what a wedding must look like is kind of fun! I am not really one for doing anything ‘traditional’ (I know you are super shocked and think I am lying right now!) I like to go out of my way to do things that will leave most people guessing….like the time I jumped on a plane with 3 suitcases and moved to Ontario….Yep! That one left people guessing for a while…..including me….”WTH was I thinking??” It all worked out but that is a great example of one of those moments…..

I am an impulse shopper too…..who am I kidding, I just love to shop….not in stores though anymore….I am an online shopper….like I have to find the perfect shoes….dresses…work out gear….movies and cd’s and I must do it at the click of my keyboard…..going into a store now would entail me waiting for a change room, trying on a million different things, then deciding I don’t like any of it and leaving to the next store….

Why am I telling you all of this…..I really don’t know….HAPPY WEDNESDAY!!! ….SQUIRREL!! Where is that squirrel???…..I don’t know…..bzzzzzz……laundry is done…..okay bye!

Happy Pig Day! 

(I made this day up but I think pig’s should be honored…so many good things come from and because of pigs….don’t tell me you haven’t thought about that before!)

 

The Inner Dialogue…So Many Questions…

I started to write today about something funny….(it will have to wait) my brain is in overdrive right now as a business owner.  I always thought that by being a business owner in the field that you loved would for sure make it something “easy” to do.  I mean…I am not even sure what I thought “easy” meant but I am clear that whatever it is I thought it meant….it wasn’t this!

I absolutely adore what I get to do everyday! Get up….dance…listen to music…dance some more….hang with my dog….dance some more….find new business and do financial spreadsheets….ughhh…..that is where the story shifts….

I did a personality test a while ago and it said that I am a “WOO” person! Which means people are attracted and I am able to WOO people into what it is I am up to…..recently I think my WOO switch got turned off….is that even possible?? I am down a quart of WOO!

I have so many amazing clients that come out to play with me every week and I love them so much! I have had a couple say for the new session that they are not coming back….This may sound strange but I really do not know how to take that….does that mean they are never coming back? Are they just taking a break? Did I do something? Did I not do something? Are THEY dealing with something? Am I crazy? Probably…..maybe that is it? Why don’t people just let me know what is going on so I can understand and support them? Maybe they don’t want my support….

I just wanna dance with EVERYONE so they feel as AWESOME as I do! Is that so bad?

If people could actually HEAR the nonsense that goes on between my ears….I am telling you….straights jackets-r-us (I think Toys-R-Us should expand their business) would be on their way to pick me up! Or maybe then ALL of us would be wearing straight jackets(See Toys-R-Us?! BIG booming business in straight jackets!) because I am sure I am not the only one who talks to themselves like this…am I? Are you listening?

It is like the circle of life….or better yet….the circle of no answers…just questions….ahhhhh….

You may think I am joking around right now….am I?

Do I frighten people? I don’t think so…

I grew these muscles all by myself! Pretty impressive, I know!

Mr. Hotty & the Boot Camp Audition

I always wanted to try out and be on television or in the media somehow. When an opportunity to do “fitness” for a potential app that a company was making came out….I thought “this is perfect! I MUST audition!”

Cher also got an audition and we decided to go together. I was soooo happy to be with her as I have never gone on an audition before! This was already exciting…..even more exciting was somebody there saying it was going to be Bollywood dancing! (this is a valuable lesson not to listen to people….they lie….sometimes!!)

As we entered the studio for the audition I saw mats on the floor…I don’t recall needing mats for Bollywood?….hmmm……NEW style of Bollywood perhaps?

We were numbered….(ah….the thrill of being a number…no longer a name…) and then sent to find our spot beside a mat.  The judges…..many not looking very fit themselves….with coffee in hand and all of our pictures in front of them sat up on a stage….(we became the animals in the pit about to do some unthinkable acts for our “big break”) and seemed genuinely uninterested in what was about to happen….

As the Mr. Hotty (that will be his name…not to protect him because I haven’t asked his permission but because I really don’t know his name….men should just be flattered if women refer to them as Mr. Hotty….) came out in front of us he began to explain….

Mr. Hotty: Hi everyone….My name is Mr. Hotty…you can call me Hot for short….today we are looking for 2 people, a man and a woman to be a part of an app we are building that will revolutionize boot camps!

Me <in my head>: I am sorry….did you say BOOT CAMP??? Cuz I signed up for Bollywood!

I could tell by the look and laughter that erupted from Cher and I we had the same thought and NOW we were about to do boot camp!

The next hour was full of sweat, grunting, leg kicks higher than the Rockettes (I could have been a Rockette you know….but auditions never made it to Saskatchewan… YOU missed out Radio City Music Hall!), vibrating muscles, howls of laughter from Cher and I, singing because they wanted us to do this all with no music….HOW RUDE! How in the world do people work out to NO music?? Beyond my comprehension…seriously….

Doing all of this with a camera in our faces was awesome…..not kidding…it was awesome because we knew the moment Mr. Hotty said boot camp and not Bollywood…we were just gonna be there for a good time! And that we were!

My favorite part was when my stinky sweaty body flung around to do a move and Perky Patty (don’t know her name either but god, that girl was perky) was smiling away into the camera and wasn’t even breaking a sweat!! Her makeup and hair all in the right places even 45 minutes in to this blatant display of total hair and makeup demolition that was taking place….did she shellac her makeup on this morning? Extra conditioner on the hair to keep it bouncy?? What was her secret?  Oh right! I believe she said she was 20 years old….yep! I remember those days!

Cher was the PERFECT person to do this with….at the end as we both lay there dripping of sweat….a high-five to each other and then help each other up (that was really what the high-five was about…let’s lock hands and lift our arses off the floor together k?! The high five decoy! Can be used in many situations…) , then give everyone high five’s and laugh our way out to the car….where we were clear we didn’t get the part and (although super fit people) we were probably going to be very sore for at least the next three days! (Getting into the car was a chore…dear lord…I had to go teach 2 zumba classes right after….wheelchair please!)

Good Times! Good Times!

You should ALWAYS have friends you can get into trouble with….and laugh about it later with!

Sun Babies and Martini’s…Ahhh The Good Life!

I am a sun baby!

No doubt in my mind that the only reason I was dropped on the Prairies by the stork (Yes…that is what I believe happened because the alternative has me think about what my parents did behind closed doors and that is THEIR business, not mine) was because of my awesome family and of course to build character…we prairie people come with a TON of character!

This winter in Toronto, although still not as harsh as winter can be on the prairies, was BRUTAL! My body was built for the Caribbean and copious (I love that word….not sure why but things that come in “copious” amounts are awesome! Like copious amounts of sangria…copius amounts of money…copius amounts of laughter…copius amounts of….YOU fill in the blank, I can’t do it all for you!) amounts of warmth and sun!

Today I am perched on my balcony with a martini (yes, I know it is sunday afternoon…this is my Holy Day…”Holy! Tammy is not exercising, bring me another Martini Day”….to be exact!) with my boxer dog Hudson and we are wearing tank tops (well, I am….Hudson refuses to wear his….he says it makes him look chunky! Dogs now a days! Jeesh!) basking in the glorious day in Toronto!

Last night I was in a blizzard, today lounging on the balcony sipping martini’s (who am I kidding? I guzzled the first one…don’t judge…it’s hot out here…I was thirsty!) See, that is the fun of living in Toronto…it is really a “crap shoot” (what a bad term….who shoots crap??ewwww) as to whether you wear a parka or tank top….you should really have both just in case!

What in life could be better than that?

Oh yeah! Martini’s and sun EVERYDAY!

I think that might make me an alcoholic……okay…SUN EVERYDAY/not martini’s…..

Happy now?

I am!!!

 

In the summer Fernando Nino gets as CRAZY as I am!!

Good to take people down with you!

 

 

6 Degrees of Separation to Future In-Laws!

Fernando (AKA: Nino….I am kind of digging the Fernando name too so maybe I should rename Nino….Fernando Nino….yes! This shall be his new name forever and ever….hope he likes it….try explaining that one on your passport!) and I have had many an adventure getting to know one another over the years.

One of my favorite moments I have is realizing I knew his sister years before I knew him.  One day I was driving with Fernando Nino’s (see….it’s growing on you isn’t it?!) oldest daughter…Marigold (I really do have to start asking people for name permission soon….she will probably read this and go…WTH?? Why Marigold? I have no idea….I write in the moment…that’s my only excuse…) and we were talking that I used to live in Brampton.

Marigold: My Aunt has a jewellery store in Brampton…

Me: Cool! I know a lady who has a jewellery store in Brampton!

Marigold: Cool, my Aunt’s name is Lupita (side note: yes this name is changed too! Geesh! Get off my back!)

Me: That’s weird….I know a lady who owns a jewellery store in brampton whose name is Lupita….in fact….is this your aunt’s phone number? (pulling out my cell phone)

Marigold: YES!!! IT IS!!!

Holy smokes…..I have known his sister for about 2 years prior to even meeting him! What are the chances? (actually pretty good when you know about 6 degrees of separation…but let’s go back to being shocked!)

We went back to Fernando Nino’s place and I told him of our discovery.  Being the sound mind and logical people that we are, we hatched a plan to surprise his sister….it all made perfect sense….it’s the only way to introduce yourself to the future in laws (we knew it would all turn out one day)….through a prank!

Later that evening, I called Lupita and set up a time to have coffee with her in a few days.  In the meantime Fernando Nino and I went to work on our little plan…

The evening finally came and I went to meet Lupita….while sitting in a coffee shop chatting, Fernando Nino walked in.  Lupita, surprised to see her brother invited him over to our table. I acted like I was totally not interested in him being there and that I didn’t know him…(I really could have won an Oscar for this performance…..why was no one filming this??  Ahh….I will be in my trailer rehearsing lines now…)

Lupita was excited to introduce her brother to me and while I shook his hand he said, “You seem familiar to me….”

“Do I?” I said.

Lupita said “well maybe you have met before being you both do a lot of professional development courses….” Fernando Nino leans in and says “I know one way to find out..” and he leans down and plants a BIG French kiss on me and I don’t stop it…..

His sister stands there in shock for a moment before beating him with her purse to get off her friend!

As we move apart from one another and are giggling, Fernando Nino turns to his sister and says “I would like you to meet my new girlfriend Tammy!”

Suddenly, she gets what has just happened. I am the one her brother has been talking about….she is shocked but now laughing.  We pulled it off!  Fernando Nino leaves shortly after and Lupita and I have a great conversation.

She is such a wonderful woman and took our little joke very well! Since then her and I have had some great family dinner food fights (story soon to come), family gatherings, christmas’s and much more that I wouldn’t want anyone other than Lupita there for! She is a lot of fun….because I am the serious one….we need someone with a sense of humor around! 😉

Family Fun!

German Lessons on Horses

I used to ride horses when I lived on the prairies. It was fun….they are kind of like dogs only a billion times bigger…..unless you rode a pony and then it is the equivalent of a great Dane….I wonder if you put a saddle on a great Dane if it would gallop? I guess it depends on how much YOU as the human weighs…..maybe that is why jockeys are so little….they are kind of like hobbits, only thinner….(these are the thoughts that keep me up at night..)

At one point I had a little german woman training me. She was great! Feisty and full of curses in english and german….(I later found out she was drinking most of the time…which really explains some of her training methods) but I liked her!

The horse I was originally riding was a nice slow horse….you had to give your legs a real work out by kicking at her sides to get her to go….and by go, I mean speed up to catch up with senior drivers who feel that 5km per hour is really being “crazy!”  I loved that horse….until I found out that she got hit by lightning and died….(I know sad…I cried….you can too….I won’t judge)

Determined to continue riding, I took on another horse but I still had the mentality of what it would take to get the first horse going and shortly after I mounted my new horse, I kicked his sides as hard as I could and he shot of like a rocket!!!  You gotta get, in all the time I had been riding, I never once got shot out of a cannon like this!

My little German woman trainer screaming at me to grab the reigns and for me to stop screaming….(yeah, good luck with that….I think I peed my pants too!!)  Did you know that if you surprise a horse and you start screaming while still on this said horse, that it spooks them even more? Yeah, me neither until this whole incident occurred!

The last thing I remember was laying on the ground in the arena and my little german trainer screaming at me to “get up! Get up! YOU ARE FINE!”

Really? First I think I need to check if I am still alive…is this a dream? Did that REALLY happen? Why yes it did….

“Get up and get back on that horse!!” she wailed.

Umm….did she just say get back on the horse? I think I must have misheard her?

“NOW!” she screamed and jumped up and down…

Oh! Umm….no she was serious….so I limped my way back to a standing position and greeted my already spooked horse.

Me to the horse: “ I think we got off on the wrong foot….my name is Tammy…I like long walks on the beach…going to the movies….how about you?

Horse to me: <blank horse stare> and then a big huff of snotty horse goodness right in the face.

Yup! Moment to treasure right there….

I slowly climbed back up onto the horse with the little german woman pushing my butt up and cursing at me for kicking the horse….and she walked me around the stable on the horse for about 5 minutes before she let me off.

Trainer: “See! You can fall and get back up!”

Me: “Okay, lesson learned. Can we go to emergency now? I think I broke my butt….

Trainer: “Yes, you are done.”

I will never forget her lesson…no matter how in shock I was at the time. When you fall, you can always get back up.  Between all her cursing and drinking, there was a wise woman in there!

I did some damage to my tailbone (and pride) but have lived to tell about it so…… all good!

It was all seriously SHOCKING!