Sometimes I wonder if I am the normal one and the rest of the world that is very serious and significant are the “quirky” ones?
I love finding the humor in things…..even at the most inappropriate times….weddings, funerals, pap tests, physical, (sometimes I have to just use my inner voice though and not say what I am thinking because others may be offended…and I am not trying to offend….it is just what goes on in my mind….I think there may actually be a little mouse in my head spinning away on a wheel….oh boy….) like when someone is yelling or freaking out about something and all I can think is “do they know their nose hairs go in and out like the wind the angrier they get?” I try not to laugh because all I can think is those are long enough to braid….and what if people really did braid their nose hairs?….that could be a whole new trend…It would start from here in Toronto for sure…. we all know that would go over well to start chatting about with the dude who is turning purple in the face he is so mad…or maybe it would lighten the mood….maybe not. I don’t think I will test this one out….
I find women’s physicals and pap tests to be pretty funny….well, maybe a guy’s checkup is just as funny but I am not a guy so you will have to start your own online journal men, if you are offended or think your checkups are funnier….deal with it!
I used to have a male physician (notice I say “used to”… I don’t think he wanted me to be his patient anymore) and my ultimate goal when going there was to see how red I could make him turn during a pap test….I know I know…cruel but also quite entertaining….. He was such a shy doctor and I am sure when he signed up for medical school…..this was the part he was most uncomfortable with…by the way….how do they practice for this part of their job? Do women “volunteer” to have paps with people studying to be doctors? I don’t think I would do that…..just seems weird to me….it was so easy to throw him off…as you can see it is for me too….to be thrown off course that is…what were we just talking about? oh yeah!
He would be all “down there” and I would be straddling stirrups and just as the God Awful alien probe would be on its way in, I would squeal “Cold hands!! Cold hands!!” and he would jump up nearly knocking over his tray of steel and swabs and begin apologizing and trying to console me that it was the, whatever the heck they call that contraption that will spread you in all the wrong ways thingy, and not his hands. I would then giggle and say “ya, I know….just keepin’ ya on your toes down there Doc!” I don’t think he found the humour in this as I did….next time I came in for a pap, he had a burly nurse as back up who kept giving me the stink eye…..I think he shared his fears of having me as a patient with her. Does nobody have a sense of humour anymore?
The things he probably sees in his day….I mean he could probably write his own very interesting journal…I would read it…but that whole patient “confidentiality” probably gets in the way…yeah, if he wrote about me and I knew it was me (because I am pretty sure not many others would do this) I would turn into one of those very significant and serious people….HAHAHAH!
NO I WOULDN”T!
Life is much too short to be serious all the time. It also gives you wrinkles…..and not the “good” ones!