I always wanted to try out and be on television or in the media somehow. When an opportunity to do “fitness” for a potential app that a company was making came out….I thought “this is perfect! I MUST audition!”
Cher also got an audition and we decided to go together. I was soooo happy to be with her as I have never gone on an audition before! This was already exciting…..even more exciting was somebody there saying it was going to be Bollywood dancing! (this is a valuable lesson not to listen to people….they lie….sometimes!!)
As we entered the studio for the audition I saw mats on the floor…I don’t recall needing mats for Bollywood?….hmmm……NEW style of Bollywood perhaps?
We were numbered….(ah….the thrill of being a number…no longer a name…) and then sent to find our spot beside a mat. The judges…..many not looking very fit themselves….with coffee in hand and all of our pictures in front of them sat up on a stage….(we became the animals in the pit about to do some unthinkable acts for our “big break”) and seemed genuinely uninterested in what was about to happen….
As the Mr. Hotty (that will be his name…not to protect him because I haven’t asked his permission but because I really don’t know his name….men should just be flattered if women refer to them as Mr. Hotty….) came out in front of us he began to explain….
Mr. Hotty: Hi everyone….My name is Mr. Hotty…you can call me Hot for short….today we are looking for 2 people, a man and a woman to be a part of an app we are building that will revolutionize boot camps!
Me <in my head>: I am sorry….did you say BOOT CAMP??? Cuz I signed up for Bollywood!
I could tell by the look and laughter that erupted from Cher and I we had the same thought and NOW we were about to do boot camp!
The next hour was full of sweat, grunting, leg kicks higher than the Rockettes (I could have been a Rockette you know….but auditions never made it to Saskatchewan… YOU missed out Radio City Music Hall!), vibrating muscles, howls of laughter from Cher and I, singing because they wanted us to do this all with no music….HOW RUDE! How in the world do people work out to NO music?? Beyond my comprehension…seriously….
Doing all of this with a camera in our faces was awesome…..not kidding…it was awesome because we knew the moment Mr. Hotty said boot camp and not Bollywood…we were just gonna be there for a good time! And that we were!
My favorite part was when my stinky sweaty body flung around to do a move and Perky Patty (don’t know her name either but god, that girl was perky) was smiling away into the camera and wasn’t even breaking a sweat!! Her makeup and hair all in the right places even 45 minutes in to this blatant display of total hair and makeup demolition that was taking place….did she shellac her makeup on this morning? Extra conditioner on the hair to keep it bouncy?? What was her secret? Oh right! I believe she said she was 20 years old….yep! I remember those days!
Cher was the PERFECT person to do this with….at the end as we both lay there dripping of sweat….a high-five to each other and then help each other up (that was really what the high-five was about…let’s lock hands and lift our arses off the floor together k?! The high five decoy! Can be used in many situations…) , then give everyone high five’s and laugh our way out to the car….where we were clear we didn’t get the part and (although super fit people) we were probably going to be very sore for at least the next three days! (Getting into the car was a chore…dear lord…I had to go teach 2 zumba classes right after….wheelchair please!)
Good Times! Good Times!
You should ALWAYS have friends you can get into trouble with….and laugh about it later with!