Bread Maker vs. Marriage

For the sake of anonymity, let’s refer to my ex as Ted…..

Ted: “I have never met anyone like you…you complete my world…will you….”

Me: “OMG!! YES!!”

Ted: “marry me?”

Me: “Wait….did you say marry or did you say will you use this bread maker I got you? I think I heard you wrong…”

Ted: “Marry me…”

Me: “Oh…ummm..<awkward moment> Yes, I will marry you” <insert brain screaming….train brakes haulting…dreams of hot baked bread deflating..YOU are in too deep now to back peddle!>

Fact: Ring boxes and Bread maker boxes are VERY different in size….OPEN YOUR EYES!!

Fact: Let people finish their sentences before you say yes to ANYTHING!!!

Fact: You will learn A LOT about yourself and the people around you when you take on big life decisions like this.

Fact: Most parents (like mine) will stand behind you even when they too know it is not a good decision AND they will also stand by you when you finally admit all you wanted was a bread maker….and you end it. (Mainly because you are too stubborn at this point to admit you wanted a bread maker) Am I the only one who wanted that instead of marriage??

You should always go for the bread maker (or whatever kitchen appliance you have been eyeing up for years) in decisions like these….then while making a loaf of bread you can ponder the more serious question of life…like does marriage have a warranty? No?…my bread maker does…

Can I trade in my husband for a new one if this one gets a little rusty or stops churning out dough? (did you catch that? Yep….dough had a double meaning right there….smarter than your average bear I am…) The answer is yes, BUT you usually have to dish out MORE than what it cost you to begin with….

Will this guy rise to every occasion? (That questions may hold too much meaning….hmmm….I think I should stop…young people or my family may read this….you get my point)

There are many questions you can ask yourself before saying yes and I suggest doing it over a hot freshly baked loaf of bread….

…eventually I got the bread maker….at the wedding….see the importance of a bread maker BEFORE the wedding…..You have been warned!

Also, when the mood strikes you…you should JUST DANCE!