So Many Questions Such Little Time….

I never stop thinking….I guess if I did I would no longer be alive so this is probably good news….the issue is that I don’t sleep because of it and I rarely am able to relax…I mean…seriously…how do people do yoga?  I think I should go to one of those retreats where you can’t talk for 10 days and you meditate….the only thing is that I may actually go nuts listening to the voice inside my head….it is super loud and FULL of questions….

Some people say they love getting massages because it’s so relaxing….I struggle….all I can think is “hmmm….could she press harder, or no wait….that doesn’t feel good…did she just pull my toe? Why?….I wonder what groceries I should pick up after this? I am hungry! How weird would that be if someone walked in right now? This lotion she is using better be paraben-free…..what are parabens anyway? They sound like placebo’s and if that was the case then they are really just made up and I am having a placebo based massage right now….what does that even mean?”

Yes, relaxing is really NOT the word I use for massages….and yoga….really….I cannot calm down long enough to meditate…..I have so many questions when I meditate when I have tried yoga… like “why is the guy next to me breathing so hard? If I open my eyes right now will he be staring at me? That is creepy….How do you seriously bend like that? I think I just pulled my groin….yep…sure did…now I need a massage….DANG IT!!”

The cycle never stops….

Sleeping at night is no different….when I sleep I wonder what is going on outside the house….”is the bar-b-q safe out there? Are the neighbors up? Why did an ambulance just go by? Who died? Was that a clown car? I swear I heard a pack of hyenas run by!! Who is that snoring? Did somebody just come in the door? Why did the alarm not go off?”

I laugh by myself sometimes because I can hear myself thinking and I can’t shut it off…..some of what I ponder about is pretty hilarious…. to me anyway….like who invented nylons? Did the bra come to be because some lady got a black eye running one day?  Does my dog know English or is it like dog English and if it is dog English, what does that really sound like to him? AND is the English bull dog smarter than the rest at knowing english?”

So many questions, such little time….to take a nap….I’m tired….no I am not….no time for that….

This is my creepy face I like to make in public….gets us our own table in a quiet corner for sure….